Does ANYONE like their job?

A friend stopped by my office yesterday, and amidst the normal chit-chat about new years, plans for this weekend, school and the like, he asked, "so do you like your new position?". Normally my answer would be yeah, it's a nice change of pace, and change the subject. But I got the idea that he really wanted to know... So I got to thinking...

No, in the grand scheme of things, I do not like my job.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it my any means. It has it's benefits. My supervisor is great. His office is in another building and I only run into him about once a week, if that. I have my own rather large private office in the courthouse (with a locking door and no window - great for lunch-time naps). I've met some great people who I expect will be indispensable contacts and references in the future. Oh, and I can't neglect to acknowledge unlimited and, as far as I know, unmonitored internet access.

But it comes down to this. my current position is completely un.ful.filling.

When I was a probation officer I actually helped people (or at least that is what I like to tell myself). I wasn't the type who screamed and threw pencil cups when an offender confessed to smoking a joint or being out past curfew. I was more the gal who listened to what was going with their spouse, the abuse they may have suffered as a child, the substance dependence they may (or may not be) fighting against, inability to find a stable job and out of control financial problems.

Now god knows I'm not the one to "fix" most of their issues, but as the vast majority of my probationers came from completely dysfunctional homes, and it is a rare occasion that they'd had someone who even took an interest in their story. So that was me. Of course I had a job to do too, to monitor compliance, and I did that as well, but I found that just listening and referring people to an outside resource when appropriate was a lot more effective than telling them what a fuck up they are, how I'm sending them to jail for non-compliance, and how they will never amount to anything if they stay on this path (a technique that is amazingly popular in the law-enforcement community).

Now I rarely meet with offenders, and never get a chance for repeated contact and rapport building. And I miss that. I am grateful for the promotion and the raise, but frankly anyone with enough common sense and respect to be able to handle themselves in a courtroom and with judges could do this job. When I'm not in court explaining probation to new offenders or visiting with the DAs about probationer's violations, I'm basically just pushing papers, getting signatures, and making sure legal documents are filed in a timely manner.

It's pretty discouraging to think that I'm wasting my days away doing this. I could be doing so much more. And will be ... soon. Only one more year of grad school until I can get back to doing what I love - counseling - working with people in need - in need of assistance - in need of encouragement - in need of emotional support - in need of skills to deal with the bull shit in their lives - in need of someone to listen. Just one more year...