Get your guns up!

In honor of the upcoming TTU vs UT Big XII football game on Saturday, here's a bit of a college forward I recieved this week. If you are familiar with either of these towns or schools, you'll love these:

TEXAS TECH UNIVERSITY

I live on a piece of dirt so flat that we call the four degree incline at the intersection of 19th and Brownfield "the Big Hill". I get dirt in my eyes, hair, and teeth when I walk to class. I can out drink anyone from any other school because that is what we do best. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm high. I can't buy beer within 50 miles of where I live - so I trek to the strip, which my friends and I all consider a true paradise on Earth. I don't go to many football games. I don't go to any organizational meetings. I don't really go to anything. Not even class. I like the fact that Will Rogers' horse's ass points to College Station. I fry cow balls. I know where Buddy Holly used to live. I am desperately trying to find a rival within our conference to make fun of. Our football players get caught by the NCAA. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm high. But I'm usually drunk by 4:30pm. Or I'm high. And what the hell is that smell?

I AM A RED RAIDER

UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS

I live in a town where you stand out if you don't have a purple Mohawk, facial piercing chained to nipple piercing, a homosexual lover, or hang out at the Magnolia Cafe. More people go to my school than live in Australia. I honestly believe that Ricky Williams is a god. I also really hate Cody Hodges. I am open-minded and spiritually in tune - except towards people who are closed minded and spiritually out of tune. Liberal women with armpit hair are cool. You can see my dorm from Chicago for it is as tall as Florida would be if it stood up. I protest everything - except protests. I am a gold card carrying member of Amnesty International. I am openly bi-curious.

I AM A LONGHORN