Lazy TB

Do you want to know how lazy I am? Here's a telling example:

My new office is about 2 blocks from my old office. My parking spot (and all my coworker's offices where I have to drop off and pick up paperwork) is at my old office, which means I walk back and forth (once) from parking spot to office at 8, (twice) to drop off paperwork around lunch, (thrice) back to my office, and (whatever 4x is) back to my car to go home at 5.

Sooo, on some days when I'm either running late or the weather is nasty, or when I'm just feeling rebellious, I will take my chances and park in a 1-hour spot on the street by the new office. And I leave it there until lunch time. 4 hours = 4 possible tickets. Would you believe that I've gotten 3 parking tickets on the same day without ever moving the car? The parking attendant is a big B. Sometimes she tickets, sometimes she doesn't, so I never know how lucky I'll be that day. Damn you Skinner and your random reinforcement!

Last week I went to set a court date for my traffic citation (I am NOT going to take full responsibility for that accident!), and the officer asked if I knew I had parking tickets. Oops. Something I should've taken care of before I attempted to pronounce my innocence of all things traffic related.

Me: "Uh, yeah, I've been meaning to take care of those."
Cop: "You should do that. They'll probably go to warrant next week."

Audible gasp followed by stunned pause. I've never had a warrant in my life, and sure as hell don't want to start with some gay-ass parking tickets!

Me: "Oh, I'm so glad I came in. What's the damage?"
Cop: "Let me check..."

Ever had one of those hung-over shopping sprees at Wal-Mart when everything looks delicious and you feel inspired to prepare multiple feasts over the next 10 days? Just me? Well when you eventually make it up to the check out the cash register receipt just keeps printing and printing and printing... If you can imagine that sound, please insert it here.

Cop: "Seventy bucks. That's a lot of tickets." *

Well no shit, Sherlock, thanks for pointing that out. And thanks for reminding me what a lazy bastard I am. $70 in parking tickets, those are $3-5 tickets, just to avoid walking 2 blocks. Man, I suck. Needless to say, I've been doing a lot more walking this week.

* Confession: there are more. On my old car which I turned over to the insurance company in January. Should I pay these? I don't have the car, don't have the title, and don't even think I have the citations. And they evidently aren't on my record at the PD. Hmmm, for now, I think I'll let these slide.