Breakup (?) update

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. My apologies! And again, thank you soooo much for all your kind comments and emails. They have helped me through some tough days. :)

So here is what is new with me and TB"F": Neither of us moved out of the apartment the week of the breakup, which turned out to be a good thing. It didn't take long for the anger to pass and the sadness and regret to set in, and we started talking again - about the good and the bad things - about where we went wrong and what could be improved upon.

He suggested that we give couples counseling a whirl before just throwing away the past 6 years of our lives together (the 6-year anniversary of our first date was about a week after the break up - can you believe HE remembered the date?!). At the time I figured at the very least counseling would bring resolution to the relationship and maybe give us some pointers and skills for moving on. What could we lose?

So last night we attended our 3rd session with a pretty good marriage and family therapist. And... I'm completely amazed how far we've come.

During the past 3 weeks not only have we disected the conversation that led to the actual un-engagement (and how I "heard" something completely different than what he "said" that night), but we've also openly addressed our pattern of dysfunctional communication. We've developed a list of mutual "fighting rules", and were able to put them into practice this week (OMG - they worked! A pretty serious incident that normally would have sent us on an I'm-pretending-that-you-are-a-total-stranger spree for 3 days was resolved -happily!- in half an hour). And we are continuing to work on a list of expectations for the relationship (communication, home, employment, sex, children, finances, spiritual, leisure etc).

Again, I am just shocked at how much more optimistic I feel after only a few weeks. I'm not 100% re-committed to the relationship just yet - the engagement ring is still in the jewelry box, I've scouted out some new apartments, and am considering a new position that wouldn't have been available if we moved to Austin in December in planned - however, that being said, things are definitely looking up.

Thanks again for your support. And for all those incredible heartache songs. My iPod loves you all. And if anyone ever needs to wallow in some painful songs (and I hope that you don't!), boy, do I ever have the ultimate playlist.