Last night was the first Friday night in three weeks TBH and I weren't drinking $5 pitchers at Conference Cafe during happy hour (if by happy hour you know I mean until midnight). We went to our favorite chinese buffet for dinner instead, then were too stuffed on sesame chicken and cheese rangoons to go out. So we enjoyed Friday night in our PJs on the couch.I was excited to see the new season of Russell Simmons' Def Poetry Jam started this week. I'm consistently amazed with the intensity of the poetry these guys and gals can spit. I can barely put together a coherent blog post, much less write a lyrical poem, and I would never have the balls to get on stage and attempt the kind of heartfelt rhythmic performance these artists give.
I'm touched by their pain and inspired by their honesty.
There were several great readings last night including a fantastic husband/wife duo, but my favorite performance of the night was by a big guy in jorts who goes by Big Mike. I transcribed this straight off the TiVo recording, so I apologize to the author for any unintentional errors. But seriously, Big Mike has got it all figured out:
I’m six foot one
Two hundred and seventy five pounds
Two percent muscle
Ninety eight percent body fat
See I’m not the prettiest mother fucker
But I’m a sexy ass bitch
And now raising her children’s children
‘Cause they’re too busy getting their groove on
See life ain’t nothing but a party in clubs
But clubs are for pretty mother fuckers
But Chucky Cheese … now Chucky Cheese is for the grown and sexy
Fathers flexing their muscle so little Junior can whack a mole
You got nannies and grannies bending their old asses over trying to play ski ball
God that’s so sexy
Those once perky breasts that now sag after feeding your third child is sexy
My eight year old coming home and saying, “Daddy, I got Student of the Month” and I say, “Damn, baby, that’s kinda sexy”
My wife who can cook dinner as she talks on the phone while watching novellas and pops my son for trying to steal the Oreos before he eats
Teachers are sexy
25 years of marriage in the Age of Divorce is sexy
Look beneath the surface and find the true meaning of sexy
My Big & Tall gear may never get me Red Carpet status
My jewelry has no bling
But I pride myself on the fact that I’m pretty good at this daddy-thing
It’s so fucking sexy
They are not sexy
Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, eat some cupcakes bitches
‘Cause you are not sexy
Mrs Brady is sexy
Al Bundy was sexy
Florida Evans from Good Times - damn, damn, damn she was sexy
And me, Big Mike, a father, uncle, a grandfather, a teacher, a faithful husband, a loyal friend, and a responsible fucking man
I may not be the prettiest mother fucker
But I’m a sexy ass bitch
2 comments:
Thanks for stopping by and leaving that sweet, nice comment on my blog.
I've just been perusing your blog and I think I like you, too! Here are 5 reasons why:
1. You like Def Poetry Jam. Def Poetry Jam rocks. Thus, so do you.
2. YOU like wine?! So do *I*!!
3. YOU like cats?! So do *I*!!
4. YOU like American Idol?! So do *I*?!
5. You are a great writer.
I will admit: I don't know what hexic is. And I don't watch Grey's Anatomy--I'm a House fan. And if I won the powerball tomorrow, I'd quit my job and travel around the world, which is much more selfish than your idea.
Which makes you a WAY less shallow person than me, which means we definitely need to hang out more so some of your un-shallowness can rub off on me. Win, win for both of us! Woo!
Glad I met you :-).
The similarities are frightening. I thought I was an only child... but maybe not... Amy, you may be my long-lost twin sister!!
Hexic is a puzzle game for the Xbox 360 - like Tetris but better (watching for the lightening strike now). Oh, and I would *so* travel before I opened my tiger sanctuary. Good call.
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