Home Sweet Home

For anyone that's ever spent any time in West Texas, I know you'll get a good laugh out of this one. For those of you who haven't had the good fortune, consider yourself lucky, and here's 13 reasons why:

1. Lubbock has many houses of worship. The two biggest are Jones Stadium (football) and the United Spirit Arena (basketball).

2. Lubbock has an annual event called "A Taste of Lubbock". This is not to be confused with the event during dust storm season, which is called "A Taste of Lubbock Landscape".

3. Lubbock is tolerant of people of all sexes, temperaments, age, creed, color and sexual orientation, just as long as you are a good coach.

4. Lubbock's idea of prohibition is to put all of the package liquor stores just outside of city limits; 'cause, Lord knows, a fat guy wouldn't cross the room for a donut and a Tech student wouln't drive a mile for a beer!

5. Lubbock has some type of ten-year cycle of weirdness:
In the 70's, tornadoes hit.
In the 80's, the Virgin Mary was expected to appear.
In the 90's, an earthquake shook Lubbock.
In 2002, a Tech Professor lied about destroying viruses that could wipe out a big chunk of the population.

6. The two hardest things to find in Lubbock are bad barbecue and a parking space anywhere near Tech.

7. The Lubbock newspaper publishes a daily prayer on the front page. It's very appropriate because there isn't a prayer of finding anything interesting on the other pages.

8. Lubbock finally got the funds for an east-west freeway and promptly named it after a basketball coach. Evidently that shuttle mission commanded by a Texas Tech Alumnus wasn't quite as dangerous as facing the UT Longhorn's in an away game.

9. It's true all traffic directions start with "get on the loop" and end with "get off the loop". They don't mention the middle part of "if you survive the loop".

10. It took a full 30 years or more before Lubbock forgave Buddy Holly for being such a heathen rock and roller and honored him with a museum. It will be twice that long before we even claim The Dixie Chick's Natalie Maines.

11. Lubbock has a somewhat successful minor league hockey franchise and their popularity has nothing to do with the fact that it's the only sporting event in Lubbock where you can drink beer (really, we swear!).

12. After a Tech victory against A&M, the Aggies responded by beating EACH OTHER up.

13. Lubbock has the best, friendliest people in the world because, as you can tell from the above list, all we really have is each other.