Wedding dream

Last night I dreamt that I was in dressing room preparing for my wedding when it suddenly occurred to me that I never arranged for a photographer or a videographer. A few moments later I heard them playing what I thought was my walk-down-the-aisle song, so I was rushing to get ready. I realized my hair was still wet but I didn't want to miss the song so I ran out into the church anyway (hell, I probably didn't have any makeup on either!). I saw tons of people flooding in, unfortunately 1/2 of them were old people that I didn't know, and the other 1/2 were coworkers whom I would never in a million years invite to my wedding. Kept scanning the crowd - not a single friend in site, no family (not even Dad walking me down the aisle), no attendants, and worst of all, no TBF. What a shitty wedding. And to top it all off, I looked down and was wearing a 70s-looking off the shoulder prom dress ... in RED.

Johnny vs. Bill

I love
Johnny
Depp. I love the fact that he is a different guy in every movie. Always different. Always interesting. Always unique.

Sexy. Intelligent. Funny. Beautiful. Simple. Magnificent.
love. love. love. him.

Until... this. I read the book eons ago and I'm sure Charlie & the Chocolate Factory is going to be a good flick, but I just can't stand Johnny's face in the trailers I've seen the past few weeks. I mean, doesn't he remind you of the old Fire Marshall Bill character from In Living Color? You remember don't you? Those teeth? That smile? Ugh, that "smile" kills me. I can't watch this movie. It hurts me. Let me know how it is.

Friday Feast

It's been a while since we've chowed down on a Friday Feast, so here ya go. Have a fantastic weekend!

Appetizer: What time do you usually wake up each day? If you could choose your wake-up time, when would it be?
During the week I usually wake up at 6:45. Earlier on the rare ocassion that I work out in the morning, later when I just can't drag my lazy butt out o bed. On the later days I have to weigh my options and choose one or more depending on how late I sleep: no shower, shower but don't wash hair, wash hair but don't dry and put in bun, no ironing, no makeup. Oh, the choices of womanhood.

Soup: When was the last time you bought groceries? What store did you go to? Name 3 things you purchased.
I used to buy groceries about once a week, especially when we were doing Atkins. Now, TBF goes a lot more shopping and cooking than me. The last time though I went to United and bought stuff for mini keylime cheese cakes for work: cream cheese, milk, limes.

Salad: How many books have you read so far this year? Which was your favorite and why?
Oh, due to school I'd say an average of about 1 per month. Not near enough personal reading, I know. I've said this 100 times before, ugh. Stupid school. Primarily on Darth's recommendation I bought Time Traveler's Wife this weekend, but oh, I haven't even cracked it. I picked up a bridal magazine too. Damn priorities.

Main Course: What is something you consider to be very elegant? In particular, what about that item/place/person conjures up the feeling of elegance?
Uh, disco saddles?! No really, the first thing that came to mind is chandeliers. We had one the house where I grew up in San Angelo. I'm sure it was very small and simple, but I remember it as a huge extravagant sparkling thing of beauty. Could it be because I was only 3 feet off the ground? Anyhoo, when we moved my mom took down the chandelier and saved all the dangly crystals. Now we decorate my grandmother's Christmas tree with them each year.

Dessert: Who taught you how to drive?
Love this question. My Uncle Jerry taught me to drive. He owned a driver's ed company in the Samoan Islands in the late 70s. So after they came back to the states he was the obvious choice to take me out for my lessons. I still remember my first few starts and stops and loops around an empty parking lot on a Sunday afternoon in College Station. Thanks Uncle Jerry!

I taste like bread?

I'm so close to being caught up with all my work responsibilities it is almost too good to believe. I've been busting my booty this week to get current. Two things happened at work recently to motivate me to action: 1) I spent 4 hours of my should-be-out-by-the-pool Saturday up here, and 2) a girl got fired for being ricidulously delinquent in her duties (I'm talking documentation that was months and months past due). So, not only do I want to spend my entire weekend avoiding work duties but I'd also like to avoid the gossip mill as to the numerous reasons why I might've gotten canned. So, by 6pm there is a pretty good chance that I could have little check marks on my entire must-be-done list. Hooray! Okay, that was a nice breather, now back to work.

But first, a little something I've had drafted for quite a while. Thanks Serra! But, BREAD, c'mon am I really THAT boring?!! Aww, I am... *mopes back to stupid to-do list*

I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you daddies out there! Hope it was a good one!

Sued II

Thanks for all your concern over my law suit. No, it wasn't blogging-related - although that surely would've been more exciting!

The whole thing is pretty ridiculous (aren't most suits these days?!), and without saying too much, here are the basics:

In March I was in a car accident. I was ticketed for failure to yield right of way but the other driver nailed me on my back tire, so my insurance company refused to pay 100% since she was also at fault (she should've seen me already in the intersection). So she's suing.

I visited with my insurance agent last week, they are going to hire an atty, and even if this woman wins the suit, no money will come out of my pocket (what a blessing that I upgraded to full coverage when I got the Maxima; I used to only carry liability on my old car). So ACW was correct, all that this will take is my time. Unfortunately she filed the paperwork where she lives, about 120 miles from here, but even transportation costs will also be covered.

There are a couple screwy things about this case which will make it less likely for her to win, and as soon as it's all over I will be very pleased to tell you exactly what I think of this woman and her sue-happy tactics.

SUED!

I received a certified letter today.
It begins:

NOTICE TO TEXAS BISCUIT,
YOU HAVE BEEN SUED.

I wish I were kidding. I'm not. More to come as details develop.
If I can discuss it with making things worse, that is. Arrgh.

Be delicious!

A couple of weeks back I ran out of my old perfume and headed over to our only big department store (Dillards - yes, Lubbock is a sad sad town) for a new scent.

I ran around the counters spraying and sniffing and spritzing and sneezing ... and doing my best to avoid the pushy sales lady. But within minutes my nose was so messed up that I couldn't tell one from the next. The last time I went perfume shopping at a higher end store they had little bowls of coffee beans to clear your nose in between sniffs. Coffee beans! Who would've guessed?

Anyhoo, I found a great one. The moment I smelled it I knew it was perfect for me. Not too floral, not too heavy, and god knows not to old-ladyish! The winner? DKNY's Be Delicious. It's presented in a fabulous little metal and glass apple-shaped bottle. Unfortunately I have about as much skill in describing perfume undertones as I do wine notes. So although I would say it is fresh and fruity, you might get a better idea if I use DKNY's description: Amaerican Apple, Cucumber, Grapefruit, Magnolia. Mmmm, DELICIOUS INDEED!

Immortal Beloved

I enjoyed a huge movie marathon this weekend while TBF has been out of town visiting his mom. I think I've already watched 9 DVDs (well, I've at least had them on in the background), and it's only Saturday (oops, is now Sunday morning - 3:27am - I'm too old to be up this late!).

Some funny (Friday), some silly (Legally Blonde), some for the excellent soundtracks (Grosse Pointe Blank and Chicago), some to make me smile (Father of the Bride), some to make me cry (Finding Neverland), some for the fine boys (Footloose and Legends of the Fall ... old Brad Pitt in a pony tail *swoons*).

But for a good love story, few are as passionate and heart wrenching as the story of Beethoven and his Immortal Beloved. This movie has always held a special place in my heart.

First, a powerful quote about the way we are moved by music:

Beethoven says, "Music is a dreadful thing. What is it? I don't understand it. What does it do?" Shindler says, "it exalts the soul." Beethoven says, "Utter nonsense. If you hear a marching band, is your soul exalted? No, you march. If you hear a waltz, you dance. If you hear a mass, you take communion. It is the power of the music to carry one directly into the mental state of the composer. The listener has no choice. It is like hypnotism."

And another quote - more mushy, but beautifully poignant - a letter written to his lover:

My angel, my all, my other self... While still in my bed, my thoughts turn to you, my immortal beloved. Some of them happy, some sad. Waiting to see whether fate will hear us. I can live only completely with you or not at all. Yes, it must be... I must go to sleep now. Be calm, love today, yesterday, what longing with tears for you, you, you're my life, my everything. Farewell then, go on loving me. Ever yours. Ever mine. Forever.

Saturday naps

Cajun and I took a nap on the couch this afternoon. He wasn't quite ready to get up.

Quiz on the go

Another weekend on my own. TBF is away. No errands. No responsibilities. What to do, what to do? Welp, let's begin with a little quiz on the go. I found this one on brokenshard over a month ago, but I really liked it.

01. Take the book that is closest to you, open it in page 18, what does line 4 says?
..."old girls - Nancy and Cathy. They were beautiful. My mother didn't want me to"...

02. Extend your left arm all you can. Wha i’s the first thing you can touch?
An almost empty Taco Bell cup. Navy couch pillow is just past the cup.

03. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
NBC Nightly News is on now. They are talking about bad weather across the country, and actually showed some footage of a tornado that hit the county north of my home last night. No injuries.

04. Without looking, try to guess what time it is.
5:30 pm

05. Now look at the clock, what time is it?
5:34 pm

06. Besides your computer, what can you hear?
TV, Cajun enjoying dinner, water running in apt upstairs.

07. When was the last time you walked on the street?
Oh, it's been a while - when I walk it is usally on the treadmill.

08. Before coming to this page, what site were you visiting?
Gmail, Wells Fargo to see if I should go out tonight or not.

09. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a white tank top, barefoot.

10. Did you dream last night?
Something about going to a party at some incredible house and running into people I haven't seen since high school. All the while I knew I was supposed to pick up TBF but couldn't get a hold of him...

11. When was the last time you laughed?
Just before I left work. The girl across the hall is undiagnosed OCD - she has to watch her computer turn off before she'll leave the office. Once she gets to the elevator she'll usually go back to check and make sure it's still off. I don't usually laugh about mental stuff, but this just struck me.

12. What is on the walls on the room where you are?
Print of George Seurat's A Sunday on La Grande Jatte above the fireplace to my right, large mirror to my left, and a painting of the Colorado mountains that my grandmother painted behind me.

13. Have you seen something weird lately?
Uh, there are two men that look like twins working on a busted ass jeep in my apartment parking lot. They are white & pasty - albino almost. I guess that is kinda weird.

14. What do you think of this test?
Fun & easy. Not too much thinking involved! ;)

15. What was the last movie you saw?
Watched Signs for the bizillionth time on Wed. I was all worked up about aliens after we got back from Roswell, so it seemed appropriate.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire tonight, what would you buy first?
New cars for myself, TBF, and my parents.

17. Tell me something I don't know about you. Be sincere:
Now that I'm back at probation, I'm afraid that my kindness will be seen as weakness.

18. If you could change something in the world, that wasn't politics related, what would it be?
I would save the tigers.

19. Do you like to dance?
I used to love to dance - I took ballet, pointe, tap & jazz from 5 yrs old until junior high then I was on dance team all four years in high school. I don't like to dance at the club so that limits my options now.

20. George Bush:
"There's an old saying in Tennessee -— I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - — shame on you. Fool me -— you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, TN, Sept 17, 2002

21.a. Imagine your first kid its a girl. What would you name her?
Lexa Leandra*

21.b. Imagine your first kid its a boy. What would you name him?
Blakely Ashton*

22. Have you ever thought of migrating to another country?
Nope. There are lots of destinations I'd like to travel to for a couple of weeks. But without actually experiencing the culture I couldn't say I'd move there permanently.

23. What language would you like to learn how to speak fluently?
Espanol. What ARE those probationers saying about me in the elevator?!

24. Name the top 3 TV shows you like the most right now:
Six Feet Under
House
24

25. Say something profound:
'Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.' -Ralph Blum

*Confession: These are not the names I would choose. These were the names of my first two cabbage patch kids. That whole name thing is too serious to come up with off the cuff, and I really haven't put a lot of thought into it.

How to guides

Need a good Thursday laugh? Read True Craig's guides to: Making Things Entertaining (For Yourself), and Avoiding Pushing Crack Dealers.

Roswell, NM

TBF and I had an absolutely perfect weekend. Around noon on Friday we decided to take a little trip up the road to Roswell. I had a friend ask me, "What in the world do you do in Roswell?" (Are you familiar with Roswell, New Mexico? It's the site of the 1947 UFO crash, or "weather balloon landing" if you are a non-believer). Anyway, you might think there isn't a lot to do there. There is a mediocre museum and a ton of crappy big-eyed green-headed alien gift shops on the main drag. Oh, but there is so much more to Roswell.

Here's the synopsis of our weekend. Short drive (compared to Texas standards) - got there in 3 hours (plus gaining an hour on the way!). Very cheap and perfectly adequate $29 motel room. Friday night we went to Farley's (horrible service, don't waste your time!), then on to a quaint little country dance bar with a fantastic disco saddle*. Ate lots of super tasty world-class Mexican food. We hung out at the pool and caught some rays on Saturday afternoon. Went to a charming wine tasting room with live band on Saturday night, and came home with delicious New Mexico wine. Watched a movie after lunch on Sunday. Leisurely drive home, stopping to take pics (got some great cactus flower shots, above).

*I know I will forever be viewed as white-trash for saying this, but what I wouldn't do to own a disco saddle! I don't know what I'd do with it, maybe put it up in the garage and spin around to some old George Strait tunes when no one is home? Oh well, judge me if you must, that thing was sweet.

The Fishers are back!

How much do I love Six Feet Under?!

I'm so excited that Season 5 started tonight. Incredible dream sequence where Lisa comes back to remind Brenda what a slut-bag she is and she even deserves to be miserable on her wedding day. Keith and David are going to have a baby. Poor Ruth, she was almost happy last season, and George had to go lose his marbles on her (okay, we all knew there was a reason he'd been married like 7 times). And I can't wait for Billy to lose it on Claire - you know he's going to.

We missed Season 1, but TBF's mom recorded the whole season and sent it to us. I've been addicted ever since. And it is the ONLY reason we subscribe to HBO (we spent 3 1/2 hours with Empire Falls this week, I love Ed Harris but this show was pretty disappointing). Anyway, HBO teases:

Everything.

Everyone.

Everywhere.

Ends.

Oooh, I'm not so fond of that whole "ends" thing. My favorite TV series of all time (second is Twin Peaks) is ending after only 5 years. Guess I better enjoy these last few months of funeral home bliss.

Back to work

Well, things are going well back at the office. I've successfully completed almost two weeks and haven't gotten fired, reprimanded or sued*. Good times! Let me give you just two of the weird things about my office versus a normal office:

1) We generally don't put up pics of family or kids in our offices. Think about it. Do you really want a convicted felon to know what your kids look like? How would you feel about a dangerous criminal recognizing your sister at the bar? You get the idea. No pictures.

2) We are told (although I don't follow this recommendation) not to keep any pens, pencils or other sharp objects on our desks. Same goes for heavy objects (like hole punchers). Could be used as weapons if an offender is high or just goes nuts on their officer. Yikes.

* Unlike a friend of mine who got a call this week from a woman who accused her ex (the guy on probation) of cooking & selling meth out of a motel room. Naturally the officer called narcotics to investigate. Well, a couple hours later the woman was calling the officer bitching because the cops were involved. She claims she's going to sue the officer and the department. Good luck with that lady.