Scary sleep

Last night I fell asleep reading on the couch, and the next thing I know I wake up in a complete panic. I can't move my arms or legs - I feel completely paralyzed. I know TBF is nearby but I can't get his attention. My heart was racing. I can barely breathe. I can't even open my eyes. I lay there motionless, desperately struggling to get his attention, to make a noise, to get help. I tried to scream, to even whisper, but not a sound would come out of my mouth. I was scared to death.

What seemed like an eternity later, probably only moments, I woke up. I heard myself yelp as I was coming out of my dream. My heart was still racing and I had to check all my limbs to make sure they really worked. What a weird dream. After my mini-scream, I had to explain to TBF what was going on. He asked me about some Freudian interpretation of being trapped, but I laughed it off.

I was reading A Million Little Pieces right before I fell asleep. I had just started the book, the character (who thanks to the Smoking Gun we now know is more a fictional mish-mash of experiences than a autobiographical memoir) had just arrived in treatment, was doped up on Diazepam and Librium, and couldn't even keep his ass in a lazy boy without dripping out of it. I was reading about him lying face down on the carpet, unable to move, but aware of what was going on around him... So I blamed the dream attack on the book.

But just for kicks, I looked up dream analysis and paralysis online, and found some very interesting stuff. Mind awake, body unable to move, plus hallucinations. Although in the Southern US people call the phenomenon the witch riding your back, I find the Chinese interpretation much more interesting: a spirit or ghost is sitting or lying on top of the individual while they were sleeping, causing the sleep paralysis. This is thought to be a minor body possession by the forces from the dead, and usually doesn't cause any harm to the victim.

Oooh. I hope that was the last sleep paralysis experience ever. Way too scary.

Midweek funny

SUV BLACK BOXES

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past 5 years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before a fatal crash.

They were surprised to find in 41 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh Shit!"

Only the states of Oklahoma, Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas, and North Dakota were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:

"Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin'."

Sunday night news

Isn't it odd how when we have more to do, there is somehow more time in the day? More responsibilities, but we get so much more accomplished? Then when there isn't so much to do - well - nothing gets done?!

Just me?

Six months ago I was working, in grad school, interning, studying for comps AND still managed to find time to blog. And now?! Well, let's just say I'm not working near as hard and not getting much done. Oh well, I needed a break.

So what's been going on?

* I took my lovely fake nails off last weekend. I calculated that I might've spent upwards of $500 on them last year. High price to pay for beauty. Too high. So they are gone. And now I feel like I have man-hands with these short stubby nails.

* As much as I love American Idol, it is no longer my addiction. This season's can't-live-without-it-TV: Grey's Anatomy and My Name is Earl.

* Christmas was great. Spent it in Austin with TBF, my folks, and my grandmother. I got a gorgeous sparkly tennis bracelet from TBF, some more luggage from my parents, a cashmere sweater from TBF's mom, and some several bottles of wine and wine-related goodness from friends.

* I just finished reading Gregory Maguire's, Wicked. Despite the controversy, James Frey's A Million Little Pieces is next.

* We've seen Chronicles of Narnia (just as good as I remembered the book), Hostel (horrid - complete waste of my time and money), Walk The Line (I love Reese!), Brokeback Mountain (very enjoyable, Oscar-worthy!)

* I did the typical New Years stuff, without the written resolutions: joined the gym and set a budget.

* I turned 31. Maybe more on that later.

I haven't completely committed to sticking with the blogging thing, but I'll give it another whirl. At least once a week. Here goes, friends!

Credentials

I've been a bit out of touch, okay waaaay out of touch. So sorry!

BUT this is what I've been up to: GETTING MY MASTER'S DEGREE!! After less than 2 1/2 years I completed 48-hours of Community Counseling courses and 700 hours of practicum and internship, while working full time.

Friday night we went to a Pinning and Medallion ceremony at the Merket Alumni Center where the friends and family of the graduates were honored and we were presented with a COE medallion to also wear at graduation. After that we went to Cafe J's to celebrate with a Fuzzytini and a couple bottles of merlot.

Graduation was Saturday. I was so proud to wear my medallion and my honor cords to the ceremony (I guarantee it was a miracle I got through undergrad, and I certainly never excelled!). I've come a long way! TBF, my parents, and my grandmother were there to celebrate with me - we ate at Texas Roadhouse afterwards (best prime rib in the universe!), went to Holland Gardens (an amazing local Christmas store) and Target, then home to open a couple presents. TBF got me one of the fantastic diploma frames, and my folks got me a great ivy green TravelPro luggage. Love it!

Today I changed my work email signature to:
Texas Biscuit, M.Ed.
How awesome is that?!! And soon to have an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) to follow that.

The craziest part about the whole thing is how fast the past couple years went by. If I'd decided that getting my master's was too hard or too time-consuming or whatever, I would've been stuck at the same job with the same credentials and the same experience. And now, here I am, time passing either way, and I have a master's degree. It wasn't easy, but it sure was worth it.

I'm HOT!

So things have been going well, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing particularly exciting to post about this week (oh, and have been sick, making everything a little "less than"). Anyhoodle, tonight after work TBF and I went to my fave Chinese buffet (excellent peppered shrimp) then headed to Blockbuster to rent movies. And now, something has got me hot enough that I just have to rant!

Came home with 3 new rentals: War of the Worlds (I'm not the hugest Tom Cruise fan since all the Katie Holmes craziness, but want to see it anyway), Saw (never seen it, didn't see part II either), and My Date with Drew (a documentary about this guy who wants to meet Drew Barrymore, never heard of it, but I love Drew too, so how bad could it be?!).

We started with Saw - pretty cool idea for a movie. TBF just told me that the producer just died this week - went to the hospital with neck pain - and just died! Anyway, we were really into the movie - right after the little girl went to tell her doctor father that there was a man in her bedroom. AND THE DVD FROZE UP! Everything was at a stand still. Then went to a black screen. And got some horrid message about the menu or the button or some crap. It wouldn't pick up where it left off, had to go back to the main menu then scroll through the chapter selections to figure out where we left off. Did this twice, and it kept jamming up at the same point. Ugh. Used some CD/DVD cleaner - no help - the disc was a mess, completely scratched up. But I couldn't bear to get this far and give up!

((This movie has been out for ages, surely I don't have to warn you about spoilers?!!))

So we had to skip the rest of that chapter and jump to the next one. I got over it shortly as we were sucked into the plot as the detectives uncovered that scary ass clown mask and the live guy with the screws to his head. We carried on - I was on the edge of my seat, clutching my knees to my chest - the doctor sawed off his leg, promised to return with help for Adam - then the "dead" man lying in the puddle of blood struggled to his knees, and began pulling his plastic face off, and - HOLY CRAP! At that very moment, the damn thing froze up again. Dead. Black. No picture, no sound, literally seconds before the movie ends. ARGGGHHHHH!!

I am so pissed. I know it isn't Blockbuster's fault - so why do people treat rental DVDs so badly? Do you really have to play frisbee with you rented DVDs? Is it necessary to let your 4-year old chew on then? Must you drop them in the gravel AND run over it before you return it to the store?! Seriously - THIS is why we own so many DVDs that we only watch a couple of times. At least we can get through the whole thing uninterrupted.

AND thank goodness for Ruined Endings - you kept me from running up to Blockbuster in my PJs and throwing that damn DVD through their damn window!

Give thanks!

I know many of us have our share of worries, problems, or irritations that we face from day to day, however we also have a mountain of blessings that we enjoy. We have the security to walk down the street and not have to worry about a suicide bomber trying to murder us, thinking he is about to go to heaven and make babies with 72 virgins. We can take a drink of water and not worry about contracting a bacterial disease. We can leave work and know that we will not have to fight the elements to stay warm tonight because we will have a roof over our head.

And hopefully we will all be able to enjoy a long weekend with good friends, good wine, and piles and piles of homemade smashed potatos. I'll be doing so with TBF's sisters in Dallas.

I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday. On Thursday night I will be giving thanks for all of you and wishing you another year of health, prosperity, and happiness.


I enjoyed this and wanted to pass it along:

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my Friend, That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" said the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends."

And the moral is:
Know where you're going in life ...
you may already be there.

~Author Unknown~

3 things

I was going back through old drafts tonight, looking for a mindless meme to post. I copied this one from Glitzy back in June! With slight modifications, here are my 3 things:

3 THINGS I AM WEARING
1. jeans
2. fuzzy socks
3. engagement ring

3 SONGS ON iTUNES "PARTY SHUFFLE"
1.That Smell - Lynard Skynard
2. Luka - Suzanne Vega
3. Keep Yourself Alive - Queen

3 THINGS I CAN SEE
1. Cajun dreaming - I think he's chasing a rabbit!
2. a totally mediocre SNL
3. a dusty mantle

3 THINGS I ATE IN THE LAST 24 HOURS
1. cream of chicken soup
2. strawberry jello
3. scrambled eggs

3 THINGS I PURCHASED THIS WEEK
1. black turtleneck (thank you, Gap)
2. pre-lighted Christmas tree (thank you, Target)
3. $1700 worth of oral surgery (thank you, Citibank)

3 THINGS I DID SO FAR TODAY
1. dropped off teddy bears at the museum for annual holiday display
2. took a handful of Hydrocodone
3. fell asleep while watching Cops

3 THINGS I'M PLANNING FOR NEXT WEEK
1. five days worth of work squished into three days
2. trip to Dallas to spend Thanksgiving with TBF's sisters
3. getting rejection visit from my boss for job I interviewed for last week

3 UNWATCHED MOVIES ON MY TIVO'S "NOW PLAYING" LIST
1. Spanglish
2. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
3. Charlotte's Web

No tagging from me - copy it if ya wanna.

Busy little bee

What a busy couple of weeks! Quick update:

New computer software at work. It was developed just for us by a local company, and was supposed to be ready to start beta testing on August 1st. Uh, no. We didn't get it installed until 10/31, the same day the contract for our old corrections software package was terminated. Fortunately there was no apparent data loss, but there are soooo many bugs and problems, it's ridiculous. My fave IT guy said it would likely be 3-6 months until everything is up and running as it should be. Trying my best to be p a t i e n t.

Went to Ruidoso last weekend and TBF and I did some early Christmas shopping. Our favorite Italian joint, Michelinas, was closed for remodeling though, so we didn't get to gorge on pizza, pasta, and wine as planned. However we still managed to get drunk and watch Texas Tech beat up on A&M at Farley's. Go Tech!

This Saturday, I worked (volunteered) my first crisis team shift for the local police department. We go out in pairs in an unmarked car, monitor the police radio and computer and go out on calls where we can be of assistance to the victim or their family - generally crisis counseling after a domestic disturbance, but also homocide, suicide, kiddnapping, etc. This weekend there was actually a kidnapping on Friday night that turned into a homocide investigation by Saturday morning. Very interesting stuff.

This morning I met with the atty my insurance company hired to represent me after a car accident from March. The plaintiff dismissed the case a few months ago, and I thought I was in the clear, but they've since re-filed. Blegh. I've given all the appropriate statements, turned over documents and pictures, and should be called to give a deposition in a month or so. If it isn't settled earlier, the trial will be scheduled for December 2006!! Just a motherly reminder - pay those insurance premiums!

On Wednesday I will interview for a brand new counseling position within the probation department. I don't have any expectation of being offered the position as I am not yet licensed and won't even graduate for another month, but I do have tons of probation experience and counseling internship hours through the drug court and the women's shelter, so we'll see. Best case scenario: I get the new position and an enormous raise. Worst case scenario: It was a great interview experience.

And on Friday morning - dum duh dum dum - to the oral surgeon to get all four wisdom teeth removed. I will have a swollen drooling bloody face five days from now. Pretty imagery. Well, at least it's a day off, and a good excuse to be babied, eat jello, and lay on the couch. Oh, and did someone mention Lortab?

Fwd: Mathematics

MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Trick or Treat

No, this isn't my cat, but my Cajun would be equally pissed if I shoved his fat gut into a ballet tutu or made him walk around the house in anything pink and lacy.

I'm taking today off work - I went to the oral surgeon this morning (initial consult only - will get all four wisdom teeth "dug out of my head" per Vegasgustan's terminology, in two weeks), got my nails done, did a couple of errands. I should be cleaning or doing laundry or something, but for now I'm just relaxing on the couch.

But tonight, ooooo, tonight will be scary. My counseling class is going on a site visit today to Montford Unit in Lubbock. Not just a prison, but a PSYCHIATRIC prison!! This is so "Jason" in Halloween - it was mostly coincidence that we decided to schedule the visit for today, but I can just picture all the escaped prisoners wondering around in the field in the rain when we drive up to the unit. Can't wait!

I hope you and your kiddos and kitties have a Happy Halloween!

Woo hoo!! I passed!!

I'm LOST

I am lost. I didn't watch ABC's Lost last season, in fact, I never really heard that much about it. I got the impression it had kind of a Star Trek kinda sci fi following, but thought it was going to be a single season fly by night show. So it was odd when TBF and I came home the same day last week talking about it. Hype on CNN and local radio, I guess.

Anyway, we TiVo'd it and watched it last week. I was confused about what was going on, so read a couple of message boards to get caught up, but they seemed like they were written by 15-year olds. I decided I'd figure it out soon enough.

Then we watched again tonight, and if I'm not mistaken, tonight's episode was previous to last week's. I know these are re-runs, but why? And why in reverse order? I realize there are supposed to be lots of twists and surprises, but I feel like I may have to give up before I figure out what is going on. I've read several message boards, episode synopsis, and character descriptions, but I still feel like I'm behind.

So far all I know from the past 2 weeks is Walt was kidnapped, then his dad, Sawyer, and the Korean guy went to find him in the jungle. I saw the hatch, and the guy with the gun (what's up with the ancient Apple and the counter reset?), and the mysterious symbol. I saw the teddy bear and the legs of "the others". Am I supposed to know yet about the different groups of people in the island and from whence they come? Anyone know if a good site to catch me up, or want to offer some highlights from last season and whatever we've missed thus far this season?

Esteem outfits

Do you ever have one of those days when you just don't feel good in your clothes? Your skirt is a little too short, top a little too snug, shoes are scuffed, sleeves too long? You pull and tug and rearrange, but always seem to be thinking about your clothes. You just don't feel good. Presentations don't go well. You snap at coworkers. I'm CONVINCED it's all about the outfit.

It's your low self esteem outfit. ((By the way, this pic of the ugly Duff sister, how could she possibly be smiling in this outfit?! It's horrid!!))

On the flip side, you may feel fantastic in a new suit - the one that is altered to fit, hemmed just the right length, not worn at the knees or too tight in the butt. You walk with your head held high and you look people in the eye. People treat you with just a little more respect - or so it seems. Thus, the high self esteem outfit.

I'm trying to talk myself into getting rid of my low self esteem clothes. But I have two problems:
1) I'm a bit of a packrat and constantly think, "oh, this will look so cute with (fill in blank here with something I either don't own or have no occasion to wear)"
2) I really love the idea of an overflowing closet. Tons of shoes, loads of sweaters and jeans, racks of tops, rows of suits.

Sadly though, most of those rows of clothes have been hanging there for months because they never come off the rack. All the clothes I do wear are thrown on the nightstand or on the bathroom counter. What a wreck. I know I would be much happier and more pulled together if I have just a few FANTASTIC outfits, and ditched all these half ass clothes that don't really fit or look too dated or have a hole in the pit or a stain on the sleeve. As of yet, I haven't been able to do this. But I'm tired of not feeling good in my clothes. Yeah, yeah, maybe it's more about the mind and the body underneath the clothes. I'll address that at some point too. But not today. One thing at a time. Today... wardrobe. But where to begin??

Get your guns up!

In honor of the upcoming TTU vs UT Big XII football game on Saturday, here's a bit of a college forward I recieved this week. If you are familiar with either of these towns or schools, you'll love these:

TEXAS TECH UNIVERSITY

I live on a piece of dirt so flat that we call the four degree incline at the intersection of 19th and Brownfield "the Big Hill". I get dirt in my eyes, hair, and teeth when I walk to class. I can out drink anyone from any other school because that is what we do best. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm high. I can't buy beer within 50 miles of where I live - so I trek to the strip, which my friends and I all consider a true paradise on Earth. I don't go to many football games. I don't go to any organizational meetings. I don't really go to anything. Not even class. I like the fact that Will Rogers' horse's ass points to College Station. I fry cow balls. I know where Buddy Holly used to live. I am desperately trying to find a rival within our conference to make fun of. Our football players get caught by the NCAA. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm high. But I'm usually drunk by 4:30pm. Or I'm high. And what the hell is that smell?

I AM A RED RAIDER

UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS

I live in a town where you stand out if you don't have a purple Mohawk, facial piercing chained to nipple piercing, a homosexual lover, or hang out at the Magnolia Cafe. More people go to my school than live in Australia. I honestly believe that Ricky Williams is a god. I also really hate Cody Hodges. I am open-minded and spiritually in tune - except towards people who are closed minded and spiritually out of tune. Liberal women with armpit hair are cool. You can see my dorm from Chicago for it is as tall as Florida would be if it stood up. I protest everything - except protests. I am a gold card carrying member of Amnesty International. I am openly bi-curious.

I AM A LONGHORN

Firestone sucks balls

I was looking for a jpg Firestone logo with a big red circle and line through it, but couldn't find one, so please picture that here.
<------------ Firestone is on my shitlist. I had a near-rip-off experience with them a couple of months ago, but luckily I was able to avoid the complete jack.* Why I decided to tow the car there again last night I am not completely sure - habit I guess, a "reputable" repair shop close to home in a decent neighborhood where I could leave the car overnight. Around noon, Firestone called me with an estimate. New distributor assembly and ignition ignitor. Get ready for this. Are you sitting down? Parts and labor: $826.98. HOLY F!!

About 15 minutes later I snapped out of the financial-induced stupor, and I called around for some other estimates. Not surprisingly no one else was quoting near this much. In fact all the bids were UNDER $500. A $325 markup?! Amazing. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to add this, but Firestone is not entirely without merit: their employees are incredibly friendly. So I had no qualms telling their smiling faces why I felt screwed, again. And even after getting that off my chest, I am still pretty damn bitter that I had to pay the $79 diagnostic fee even though they didn't do a drop of work on the car. Ugh.

Okay, so a few hours later this story has a happy ending since I was able to get my baby back in working order before 6pm, so I'm back in business again (not that I wasn't looking for an excuse to miss work tomorrow, but that is another story). And the best part is I have a new auto mechanic: Sexton Automotive. They rock. Firestone, on the other hand? I will never set foot in their establishment again. And unless you have more money than Steve Jobs, I would like to warn you against giving them your business.**

*A very similar story with a very similar ending. Slow learner, I know.
** Do you know how much I want to marry into a family with a mechanic?! A doctor, lawyer, and plumber would be nice to have in this ideal family as well, but above all, a mechanic. Please.

AAA

I spent a good part of my day planning this post - mentally documenting each moment of my sucky day so that I could share with you each crappy part of it.

But then, come 6pm, it started getting better - I finally got home, took a hot shower, had a glass of chardonnay, went to Best Buy and had a wonderful evening with TBF over fajitas at Chilis with TBF, then on the way home...

...the car died. Died dead. It started up out of the parking lot just fine like it always does, we drove about 100 yards, and it just died. Dead. I know, I already said that, but it is still a shock. It seemed to have plenty of power but just wouldn't turn over. Had enough gas. No warning lights. Everything checked out. The tow truck idiot said it was probably a fuel filter. Fudge. He towed the car to a local shop then took us home. I still stink like b.o. from his stupid smelly tow truck. BUT, the good news is we made it home in one piece at a decent hour. There is money in the bank for repairs. We didn't miss work, class, or any appointments. And now, here I am blogging about it within the hour. Thank goodness for my AAA membership that doesn't expire until Nov 2.

It's over!

What a relief! Last Saturday morning I took my comps. I've never prepared so much in my life for any event - and particularly not for an exam. I am a VERY last minute kinda gal. I rarely begin any project more than 48-hours in advance, usually just the night before. But for this test, believe it or not, I actually started studying 6 weeks ago. SIX WEEKS! I ordered some pricey review materials, and read and read and read. I woke up early and read. I read and went to bed late. I spent dozens of hours studying at Starbucks over triple venti lattes. I read during lunch. I read in between meetings. I even turned down numerous drinking opportunities to read. It was nuts. I can't even believe it now.

Anywhoodle, I took my test last week and it went pretty smoothly. Oddly, I almost wished the test was longer because there was so much information I'd learned that wasn't on the test! Of course there were some questions I had to just guess on also, but for the most part, I felt like I did really well. AND more importantly, I'm expecting a congratulatory letter in the mail around Nov 1 which will permit me to graduate in December. And be out of school FOREVER! The downside that I'm refusing to think about is that if by chance I don't pass, I can retake the test. However, I have to be enrolled in a grad class to take it, which means more worthless tuition and fees, and pushing back graduation until May 2006. Ugh. Hopefully that isn't anything I'll have to worry about!

So, hopefully in two weeks, congratulations will be in order. But for now, it's just time to be getting back into the swing of things. And no more studying!!

Mew

Puuurdy.
I'm still working, interning, volunterring, and studying.
6 days till the biggest test of my life... Will return soon!
Hope you are all well!

Mental hospital hotline

Fortunately, the horror that was Hurricane Rita has passed and left Texas relatively unscathed. But poor Louisiana just can't catch a break... I've studied all weekend - stayed in my PJs and didn't set foot out of the house until late this afternoon - but I feel pretty good about the comps with only 2 weeks remaining. And on the subject of mental health, I got this forward this week, and thought it was too funny not to share:

Hello, and welcome to the mental hospital hotline.......

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number and mothers maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to YOU.

If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Back off Rita!

Texas doesn't want you, Rita!

Evidently these storm pics that have been flying around the internet post-Katrina were neither taken in Mississippi, nor are they even pics of a hurricane. Nonetheless they are pretty scary. This Hurricane Rita is one bitch of a storm also, and it appears she is going to wreck havoc on the Lone Star state. All I can say is that at least people are taking preparations seriously after Katrina - not only are well do to evacuees getting out of town, but it appears that public transportation is also being provided for those who don't have cars etc. Our old AFB has been set up to house 800 evacuees from the coast.

I emailed some old friends from high school (I graduated in Corpus) and college that live on the coast and let them know they have a friend in Lubbock if they need shelter, etc. Although I'd hate to hear from them due to any tragedy in their own lives, it would be good to see them.

I went to a fantastic domestic violence seminar on Tue/Wed. I'll share some of that info later this week. Today I'm back at work and trying to get caught up after missing two days of phone calls and emails. Back to work...